~a column by Colleen O’Brien
Don’t you wish you’d said that? Quotes such as this one tickle me even as they make me wonder why I can’t come up with them. I can laugh at some of them for years. Who thinks them up? Comedians sometimes, writers, quick wits; maybe now and then an ordinary person with an extraordinary thought, although most of our bon mots are forgotten by the end of the day.
In my bathroom I keep pens and felt tips so visitors can sign their names. Many of them leave quotable quotes, my favorite, from a sister-in-law: ‘We’re all mentally ill. Some of us just handle it better than others.” I don’t know if this is her original or she just forgot to attribute it, but I like it a lot.
My son, one of the best quote collectors I know, sent me the one above about the high cost of living. One year he had his picture taken in front of a directional sign that said: “You Are Here or You’re Lost.” Pure art in words.
When I was in my thirties, a friend gave me a Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. In the frontispiece, she wrote, “For all those quotes we keep trying to recall.” It is the 15th edition, and it has stood me in good stead for half my life, even though the 18th version is out now, published in 2012.
John Bartlett first published a small collection of quotes in 1855. He did this because he was always quoting, so much in fact that friends were always saying, “Ask John who said it.” His first book of quotes contained mostly the Bible and Shakespeare with a few old poets thrown in, 258 pages of quotes from 169 authors. Now it’s quite fat, with around 22,000 quotes by hundreds of people, some of whom petition to get in.
One of my favorites is this: “It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.”
Does this presume that the educated man knows all the quotes?
Winston Churchill said it, however, and added that he’d studied Bartlett’s intently. No wonder he was such an exceptional orator – he’d memorized the wits and sages in Bartlett’s — and wound up in Bartlett’s himself. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on,” said Winnie, which is a pretty good piece of word assemblage. Although my very favorite of his is this response to a woman castigating him at a party because she thought he was drunk: “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” Not exactly nice but really quick thinking, one of the things he was known for.
Bartlett’s is one of those books I can look something up in and still be reading an hour later. From one quote to the next it’s a kind of wonderland of thoughtful folks saying important things. I personally like the old-fashioned book edition, but you can get Bartlett’s online or buy an app and keep it on your phone. The quotes are listed chronologically, so it starts with the Bible and goes to Jon Stewart. There is also an index of key words (Aaron’s serpent to Zuyder Zee) and an alphabetical listing of quoters. It’s very easy to get around in.
Despite what you might think from having read this column, I’m not a salesperson for Bartlett’s, but it is a great idea for a Christmas gift for a reader or writer or someone who often gives speeches or interviews. With a Bartlett’s and a good memory, you too can be eloquent. It advertises itself as a history of the world through the world’s most quotable folks, as well as “a vast, stunning representation of those words that have influenced and molded our language and culture.” This makes it sound like a good course for high school students – a history-English language-philosophy class all under one cover.
